


Running up that Hill

by tigerstars_ghost



Category: Jojo's Bizarre Adventure: Stardust Crusaders, Jotaro Kujo's Bizarre Adventure, stardust crusaders - Fandom, ジョジョの奇妙な冒険 | JoJo no Kimyou na Bouken | JoJo's Bizarre Adventure
Genre: Kujo Jotaro Has Feelings, Kujo Jotaro Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, M/M, Now kith, Sad boy Jotaro, Speedwagon Foundation (JoJo), Tags Are Hard, after the events of egypt, in love with a dead man, jotaro has anxiety
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-07-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:47:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25455667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tigerstars_ghost/pseuds/tigerstars_ghost
Summary: Jotaro Kujo cannot escape the events that happened over a year ago.
Relationships: Jotaro/Kakyoin, Kakyoin Noriaki & Kujo Jotaro, Kakyoin Noriaki/Kujo Jotaro
Comments: 2
Kudos: 33





	Running up that Hill

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in so, so, so, so long. I was suddenly inspired by a cover of Running up that Hill which made me think of my favorite boys and some amazing sad boy Jotaro art. Thank you to anyone who reads this.

The city lights ate away at the dark night sky; sucking in the empty black void and leaving a more comforting navy glow. The glare of city life left millions of stars solely to any onlookers' imaginations. Few and far glints could be made out, possibly a satellite, or maybe even an airplane descending into the night, but no constellations could be seen. The city was just as alive up above as it was on the ground. Despite the brilliant lights emitted from tall buildings, shadows loomed dominantly over the earth.

A single turn down a dark alley could easily be a persons’ last. In darkness, one should have their wits about them. In darkness there were vampires and monsters alike that sauntered the city streets. Tonight the most dangerous villain of all was on the prowl. Signs of his destruction were already playing out as a large man pursued his villain. 

Jotaro’s heart was racing as he caught up to the car crash that happened minutes before. Blood pooled out from the vehicle that had collided with a building. Bystanders were mesmerized by the horrific sight. He could see fear and curiosity gleam in their hollow gazes. The accident was a sign that he was heading in the right direction. He was closing the gap between him and the monster that haunted the Joestar name for centuries. 

__

Dio…

Jotaro picked up the pace, knowing that Kakyoin and the old man were inevitably fighting their archenemy as he lagged behind. A growing sense of foreboding rocked his entire body. He clenched his fists, feeling his fingernails beginning to dig into his sweating palms. His chest tightened and the hair on the back of his neck stood as he continued to pursue Dio, ignoring all the warning signs his body was giving him. 

As he ran, the lights of the buildings started to dim. Jotaro noticed that not only were the lights of buildings becoming dimmer, the buildings themselves were growing taller and more condemned. Broken glass and rubble piled up along the road he ran on. Dust and dirt kicked up from every long stride he made, but after running for what felt like an eternity, he still had not reached his destination. Eventually, darkness engulfed him. A loud beating noise rose above any natural nighttime sound. It became apparent to him that it was his own haggard breathing. 

_Something is not right.._ The thought was quickly pushed away as soon as it arose. He would not be deterred from this fight after all they had been through. He had to help his friend and grandfather. They had to defeat Dio together! 

As the echoing darkness continued he briefly wondered if this was perhaps all a part of Dio’s stands’ power to play tricks on him; to make him feel isolated or powerless. Hiding his pale green gaze beneath his faithful hat, he continued until a break of light showed up ahead. He could hear the muffled shout of someone nearby. It sounded similar to his grandfather, Joseph Joestar. 

Jotaro shielded his eyes from the blazing light as he rushed towards it. He immediately recognized the city of Cairo that they had been journeying to for two months now. A sense of horror completely engulfed Jotaro as he realized the significance of this spot. Instinctively he looked above at a looming water tank that had abruptly burst. 

A crimson soaked body was crumpled into the tank above so both blood and water flowed freely to the earth. He took in the details, his breath catching in his throat. Kakyoin’s stomach had a giant hole in it. He was hunched over, not moving, not showing any sign of life. The seventeen year olds cherry red hair almost matched the color of his blood that he had choked out in his final attempts to breathe; to live. His once delicate pale skin started to look gray. 

“Ka-Kakyoin!” Jotaro shouted, suddenly finding his voice. 

He looked around wildly for a way to reach his friend when a great roar began to fill his ears. He was frozen in place as a huge wave of blood flooded the street, taking down everything in its path. Unable to escape, the thick liquid quickly immersed his sturdy body, knocking him off of his feet. He opened his mouth trying to shout in vain to his terminally wounded friend again before the wave sucked him under in to complete darkness. 

Jotaro woke up from his sleep gasping and covered in sweat. Quickly, he sat up and removed the damp covers that draped him, placing his elbows on his knees. The cold wooden floor against the bottoms of his bare feet was grounding as he caught his breath and attempted to push the nightmare from his mind. Except it wasn’t solely a nightmare. 

Jotaro Kujo had won the fight against Dio Brando, but he failed to save the only person who ever made him feel at peace with himself. All the smiles, tears and challenges they shared together were gone in a few paused seconds. How much time did Kakyoin lay in the metal mesh of the water tank, gasping his final breaths all the while Jotaro lagged behind? The pain must have been unbearable. 

Clearing his throat, Jotaro got up from his bed and walked towards the kitchenette in darkness. He was staying in a long term hotel while doing work for the Speedwagon Foundation in the states. It had only been two days since he arrived on foreign soil, but the night terrors had been as vivid as ever. He opened a cabinet for a glass, noticing his hands trembling, and poured some cold water for himself. 

_Gulp. Gulp. Cough-!_

He sputtered up water, having drank too quickly. The chill caught in his throat, a brief moment of suffocation and an image of Kakyoin gasping for air. Blood gurgling back up his throat and hand outstretched towards the sky in vain.

“ORA!” 

Glass shattered against the wall opposite of Jotaro. Shards rained down on to the floor while the remaining water clung to the wall in streaks. He braced himself against the counter top and shielded his eyes with a clammy hand. Soft sobs broke the silence, racking his rib cage as he inhaled violently between each cry. 

_I’m so sorry Kakyoin. I’m sorry I couldn’t save you._

The room started spinning as Jotaro inhaled sharply to catch his breath between sobs. His muscular body broke into a cold sweat and he felt himself spiraling into a well known anxiety attack. He tried to remember the coping mechanisms he was taught back in therapy a year back. Placing both hands against the counter to hold himself up, Jotaro inhaled through his nose and exhaled through his mouth. He repeated this method with his eyes closed, feeling the smooth texture of the counter top against his palms, listening to the busy work of NYC in the middle of the night and cleared his mind. 

Although their trip to Egypt was not a vacation by any means, it was some of the best moments of his life. Not a day has gone by where Jotaro was unable to think of that trip. The way they watched the sun rise and fall in many different countries, during many different obstacles. They all made it to Egypt together, even when they thought they wouldn’t. Through all the twists and turns, Kakyoin was still the brightest memory of them all.

Jotaro deeply inhaled through his nose, exhaled through his mouth. 

Deep red hair the color of cherries. Whenever Jotaro pushed Kakyoin’s buttons his cheeks turned that same shade. The way Kakyoin gave him that adorable half smile, or even better, the way he laughed so hard he held his hands to his heart, eyes closed, fully enveloped in the moment. Jotaro wanted to capture it all, to dream only of the good memories that they had together. He never thought he would be without him. Isn’t that what they had promised each other that night in the hospital? 

Jotaro opened his eyes again to be greeted with the darkness of his hotel room. He ambled back towards the bed, leaving the glass to be cleaned in the morning and went digging around his luggage. He tossed his folded laundry to the floor in makeshift heaps, left books in a small stack and his toiletries eskew nearby. It had to be in here, he never left anywhere without it. 

Jotaro grabbed hold of a paper folder at the bottom of his suitcase; the worn texture scratched against the tips of his fingers and wrought a sense of urgency into his heart. Quickly, he opened the folder and looked down at the group photo they had taken the day they arrived in Egypt. Rather than pull it out, he reached into the pocket to reveal a cherry earring. A deep sigh of relief filled the hotel room. Jotaro clasped the small jewel between his hands, holding it tightly against his chest. 

It was at the hospital where they had left Kakyoin after the fight with N’Doul. Jotaro had gone to visit him alone so they could speak intimately while the others were busy. Honestly, Jotaro had tried to convince Kakyoin to bow out and let them handle the rest, but the red haired boy refused adamantly. Nothing would have convinced him, not even Jotaro’s profession of love to him. Kakyoin had said that it was all the more reason for him to continue alongside them. He loved Jotaro as well, enough that he would sacrifice his life for him and his family. 

Kakyoin had given Jotaro one of his earrings as a keepsake until they met again. It was meant only for a specific duration of time, Jotaro had never meant to keep it forever. Jotaro never meant-

Jotaro broke off from the trail of negative thoughts and directed his attention to the hospital again. Everything was pristine and white, except for Kakyoin’s bright red hair against the pillow. Jotaro loomed over the smaller man in an even smaller hospital bed. He pressed a chaste kiss to Kakyoin’s lips; only a trace of blood lingered in the taste. Jotaro’s hand brushed through Kakyoin’s silky smooth hair before resting on his cheek. The two lay in silence, having both said what needed to be said. They chose to relish the last moments of calm in one another's presence rather than continue to argue. 

Kakyoin moved his hand to his ear, unclasping an earring. 

“I know this may seem odd, but I want you to hold this for me.” He spoke quietly, urgently. He felt for Jotaro’s hand, due to the bandages covering his wounded eyes, and placed the cherry earring into his large palm. “I’ll take it back once we defeat Dio, but for now I want you to have something to remember me by. I want you to know that I’m by your side even if it’s not physically. A promise that we will meet again.”

Kakyoin didn’t need to see Jotaro’s expression to know how he felt. The way his body tensed on top of him, then sighed in loving defeat. Jotaro kissed Kakyoin one more time, before saying goodbye, placing the earring safely in a chest pocket. 

Alone again in the hotel room, Jotaro crawled under the covers of his bed, holding the earring to his chest. He stared blankly at the ceiling while warm tears flowed freely from his sea green eyes. The tears pooled into his ear lobe and on the pillow beneath him while he lay unmoving. The city lights shone behind the closed curtains and escaped into the room through a small break of cloth. The moving lights cast shadows across the messy floor with all of Jotaro’s belongings. 

Jotaro knew there would be many more nights where he lay alone like this; consumed by thoughts of Kakyoin. He could never resist the thought of what could have been if they both made it out of Egypt alive. If he had convinced Kakyoin to wait for him at that hospital. If he could have kept him safe. _If I only could…_ He thought wearily, eyes penetrating the dark ceiling. Numbness closed around him as Jotaro gradually fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.


End file.
